the seemingly end of an era

i recently left a job of 9 years to pursue my dream of teaching and publishing. i thought it was going to be an easy transition; boy was i wrong.
imagine ingraining yourself into a method, mode, and manner of behavior to such an extent that when it's over, you feel like something thick and real is missing. believe me, i've bitched so much about the job of bartending that i thought it was the end of the world when i had to put on those clothes and smile and flip bottles and whatnot, but as i sit next to my phone waiting for the occasional call from my friends, i am confronted with the realization that IT IS HARD TO LEAVE IT BEHIND.
i've puked on their patios, seen them change from single to married to parents, taken their keys, laughed, cried, and made some money with them, but now it's all different. now i'm the outsider, the excommunicated, the OTHER. days where the sun doesn't show, the rain almost falls, and the coffee isn't quite strong enough, it seems worse.
i miss my friends.


-bk